I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
