But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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