Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
