Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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