So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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