this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
