I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
