Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
