Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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