just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
