I want to walk on stilts...naked
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
