Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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