Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He passed out mid-signature
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
