he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
