Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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