yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
