I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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