i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
