Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
