WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
