I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
