pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
