Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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