puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
