no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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