Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
