i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
