so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize