It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
