I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I had to cum in my sink.
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