The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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