They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
