5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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