So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
