she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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