at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
