she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
