honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
