did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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