i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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