i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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