I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
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