I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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