he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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