You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
