your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize