Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
