we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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