Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
don't judge my taste in strippers
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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