Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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