are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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