i need an iv and a liver transplant
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Randomize
