If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
