Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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