u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
