You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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