I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
