Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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