White coat. Heels.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
