I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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