I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
