Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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