Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
